My third step in treatment. Let’s do this. I’m through the worst of it. Post radiation has had its challenges. Not sleeping well at all, waking throughout the night, and awake with insomnia. Having lots of vivid dreams. Even talking out loud in my sleep, that I’ll wake myself up. I reached out to my doctor for something to help with sleep, and try to rest my body when possible. It seems radiation also ignited some of the nerve pain and soreness I experienced post-surgery as well. The skin seems to be healing and improving though, so it’s a win, and another step forward. On October, 31st I started the hormonal therapy, tamoxifen. Which I’ll take daily in pill form, for the next 5 years. This step will block my hormones, estrogen & progesterone. My cancer feeds off of estrogen & progesterone in my body and so if there is any rogue cell left in my body somewhere, it will not be able to grow. I had anticipated this day for a while, hearing mixed reviews from others who had been prescribed the drug as well. I chose to expect the unexpected. Knowing that all bodies are unique, and my journey may look different from others and that’s okay. Easing my anxious mind from the fear of things that may never even occur in my own personal journey. My doctor informed me of common side effects like hot flashes & leg cramps, and also some myths such as reduced libido and weight gain. The first dose messed with my stomach and I felt nauseous. The second dose woke me at night with night sweats. The third dose left me with a dull headache all day. The next few days had me noticing how irritable I am. Raising my voice and snapping at my family. I hate that. My daughter drew me a picture this morning, that made me laugh though.

Despite my irritability, I try to remind them how deeply I love them. That this adjustment to the medicine has not been ideal, but that we will get through it with a lot of grace and forgiveness. As my body adjusts to this new normal, I am hopeful that the side effects will subside, and I’ll continue choosing gratitude through all of it. I am so deeply grateful for my positive mindset, and strong body. I am also so grateful to have remained committed to movement. Listening to my body when it needed rest, and taking advantage when I had the energy to move my body. I truly believe movement is medicine, and it prepared me for this fight, and held me up through all of it. My physical strength helped with healing, and allowed me to focus on my mental and emotional health too. This journey has been one of deep learning. It’s shown me who I am, what truly matters, and has given life a new kind of meaning. Through every sleepless night, every ache, and every small victory, I’m learning to meet this new chapter with grace, gratitude, and hope. One day, one breath, one moment at a time. I’m still here, still healing, and still finding the beauty in it all. 🤍

xo, Danielle